Father’s Day is a day set apart to celebrate fatherhood, recognize the influence of fathers in our homes and society, and foster paternal bonds. It is also celebrated to honor and commemorate our fathers and forefathers. While it is celebrated in the U.S. on the third Sunday of June, in many other countries the officially recognized date of Father’s Day varies. It is believed that Father’s Day was first observed on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington, through the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd, a Christian woman and the daughter of American Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart. Sonora’s mother died when she was age 16, and she wanted a day that would commemorate and honor fathers like her own, who had raised her and five other children. Once she began soliciting the idea of an official Father’s Day, she met some opposition and even derision, but she persevered. A bill was introduced in Congress in 1913, and in 1916, President Woodrow Wilson spoke at a Father’s Day celebration in Spokane, Washington, wanting to make it an official holiday, but Congress still resisted. In 1924, Calvin Coolidge became involved, and in 1930 a national committee was formed by various trade groups in an effort to legitimize the holiday. The battle continued, and in 1966 President Lyndon Johnson made a proclamation for the third Sunday of June to be Father’s Day. Finally, it was made an official national holiday when President Nixon signed a similar proclamation in 1972.
While God’s Word is silent about any day being set aside specifically to honor fathers, the Bible does recognize a special place of honor for men who were leaders or examples of excellence in certain skills, such as Jabal, who was “the father of those who live in tents and raise livestock” and his brother Jubal, who was “the father of all who play the harp and flute” (Genesis 4:20-21). Also, when Abram’s name was changed to Abraham, God told him, “I have made you a father of many nations” (Genesis 17:5), clearly indicating fatherhood as a place of honor in His eyes. Thus, even though the Bible does not mention a Father’s Day, we can clearly see that God does recognize the importance of fathers and even gave them special honor throughout history.
Furthermore, we can follow this theme of fatherhood in the very person of God Himself through countless scriptures (Matthew 5:45; 6:9,32; Romans 1:7; 15:6; 1 Corinthians 8:6). There are many instances that speak of Jesus Christ, the Son, honoring His Father and honoring the will of His Father (e.g., John 17:1 and John 17:5). The apostle Paul taught that to honor one’s earthly father is not only a commandment but the first commandment that, when obeyed, has a promise of things going well and living long on the earth. “Honor your father and mother—which is the first commandment with a promise—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2-3). In light of these verses, and many others, it would seem to be perfectly God-honoring to celebrate a day in which fathers, the God-given spiritual head of the family, could and should be honored. Ultimately, whether or not to celebrate a specific day or holiday is a matter of personal preference. We have the freedom to celebrate and the freedom not to celebrate if we so choose.
The greatest commandment in Scripture is this: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Going back to verse 2, we read, “So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.” Following Deuteronomy 6:5, we read, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (vv. 6-7).
Israelite history reveals that the father was to be diligent in instructing his children in the ways and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. The father who was obedient to the commands of Scripture did just that. This brings us to Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” To “train” indicates the first instruction that a father and mother give to a child, i.e., his early education. The training is designed to make clear to children the manner of life they are intended for. To commence a child’s early education in this way is of great importance.
Ephesians 6:4 is a summary of instructions to the father, stated in both a negative and positive way. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The negative part of this verse indicates that a father is not to foster negativity in his children by severity, injustice, partiality, or unreasonable exercise of authority. Harsh, unreasonable conduct toward a child will only serve to nurture evil in the heart. The word provoke means “to irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, or incite.” This is done by a wrong spirit and wrong methods—severity, unreasonableness, sternness, harshness, cruel demands, needless restrictions, and selfish insistence upon dictatorial authority. Such provocation will produce adverse reactions, deadening children’s affection, reducing their desire for holiness, and making them feel that they cannot possibly please their parents. A wise parent seeks to make obedience desirable and attainable by love and gentleness.
The positive part of Ephesians 6:4 is expressed in a comprehensive direction—educate them, bring them up, develop their conduct in all of life by the instruction and admonition of the Lord. This is the whole process of educating and discipline. The word admonition carries the idea of reminding the child of faults (constructively) and duties (responsibilities).
The Christian father is really an instrument in God’s hand. The whole process of instruction and discipline must be that which God commands and which He administers, so that His authority should be brought into constant and immediate contact with the mind, heart, and conscience of children. The human father should never present himself as the ultimate authority to determine truth and duty. It is only by making God the teacher and ruler on whose authority everything is done that the goals of education can best be attained.
Martin Luther said, “Keep an apple beside the rod to give the child when he does well.” Discipline must be exercised with watchful care and constant training with much prayer. Chastening, discipline, and counsel by the Word of God, giving both reproof and encouragement, are at the core of “admonition.” The instruction proceeds from the Lord, is learned in the school of Christian experience, and is administered by the parents—primarily the father, but also, under his direction, the mother. Christian discipline is needed to enable children to grow up with reverence for God, respect for parental authority, knowledge of Christian standards, and habits of self-control.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). A father’s first responsibility is to acquaint his children with Scripture. The means and methods that fathers may use to teach God’s truth will vary. As the father is faithful in role modeling, what children learn about God will put them in good standing throughout their earthly lives, no matter what they do or where they go.
Fatherhood was one of the first jobs God gave men. Immediately after creating Adam and Eve, God commanded them to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). One of His primary purposes for marriage was offspring who would fill the earth with God’s praise and glory. However, providing sperm for conception is merely the beginning of God’s expectation for fathers. Sperm can make a child, but it takes a real man to be a father. Some men who want to be good fathers have little understanding of what godly fatherhood looks like, so this article will explore some characteristics of a godly father.
- A godly father knows God. It should go without stating, but many men want their children to have a relationship with God but do not have such a relationship with God themselves. They let their wives take the kids to church, trust the preacher to instill godly values, and assume they are being what they need to be because they provide exposure to godliness. But children model what they see. If Dad does not consider obedience to God important, why should they? If Dad doesn’t lead the family spiritually, it must not be a priority. So godly fatherhood begins within the heart of a man. He considers his own relationship with God the most important one in his life and models that godliness for his children.
- A godly father loves and honors his wife. It has been said that the best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. When children grow up watching healthy, loving interactions between their parents, they naturally seek to imitate that in their own marriages. Sadly, children often do not see their fathers and mothers loving each other. Even if a man is divorced or single, he can still model respectful behavior toward his child’s mother; if he is remarried, he can demonstrate a loving relationship with his current wife (Ephesians 5:25, 28).
- A godly father accepts responsibility for his children’s spiritual training. Too often, the children’s training is left to the mother while the father considers a paycheck his contribution to the family. While providing financially for a family is an important responsibility for fathers (1 Timothy 5:8), it is not their only responsibility. While he may delegate much of the day-to-day teaching to his wife, a godly father still bears responsibility. For example, he should pray with his children and talk with them about what the Bible teaches. He encourages Christian character in his children by his example as well as his words of instruction and the expectations of behavior he sets forth and enforces with his children.
- A godly father is continually aware of his influence. “Do what I say, not what I do” has been the unfortunate attitude of many fathers. Little eyes observe and learn from watching Dad’s behavior, regardless of what he says he believes. Sons, in particular, need male role models to show them how to become men. Dads may not realize it, but everything they do is influencing their children. Words alone are not enough. Consider what a child might learn from these fatherly instructions:
- “Church is important, so you guys go, but I’m staying home to watch football.”
- “Don’t you lie to me, but tell that person on the phone that I’m not here.”
- “I just cussed out our neighbor, but if I hear you guys saying those words, you’re gonna get it.”
- “Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Now bring me a beer and my cigarettes.”
- A godly father models selfless service. Much of Jesus’ earthly life was given to serving others. As followers of Jesus, we are to imitate that service (Matthew 20:28). Godly fathers figure out ways to involve their little ones in that service. “Let’s go over and mow Mrs. Jones’ yard. Her husband had surgery, and she’s got a new baby.” When children grow up watching Dad quietly serve the Lord without expectation of reward, they internalize those values.
- A godly father is consistent. Nothing confuses children more than inconsistency, either in discipline or example. A father who is angry one minute and loving the next creates insecurity in his children. Dads need to be careful that they don’t take out their frustrations on their children and later excuse their behavior by saying, “I was just upset.” Godly fathers channel their anger where it needs to go, they practice forgiveness, and they never allow anger to create confusion in their children. If Dad says he is going to do something, he’d better do it. Children need to know what to expect from their fathers.
- A godly father disciplines his children appropriately. Discipline is part of child-rearing and should not be ignored or solely delegated to the wife. Hebrews 12:9–10 reminds us that earthly fathers disciplined us for our own good and our heavenly Father does the same. Wise discipline helps children learn to control themselves and keeps them out of serious trouble (Proverbs 13:24; 18:19). Correct discipline is not abusive, vengeful, or sporadic. A child should know wherethe boundary lines are, and he should also know with absolute certainty what happens when he crosses those lines.
- A godly father does not allow himself to be controlled by outside influences. Addictions, such as alcohol, drugs, or pornography, often create a home environment marked by insecurity, fear, and depression. Fathers who display addictive behaviors often teach their children to do the same. Godly fathers are controlled only by the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Children tend to adopt whatever gods their parents consistently worshiped; thus, alcohol and drug abuse is passed from generation to generation (see Exodus 20:4–5). However, children who watch their fathers run to Jesus with their problems can learn to imitate that healthy behavior.
- A godly father is a man under authority. Due to his sinful nature, a man will fight to be his own boss. In many cultures, it is considered admirable to “answer to no one.” However, Jesus demonstrated that He was a Man under the authority of His heavenly Father (John 5:19; 12:49). He readily gave credit to God for His successes and submitted Himself fully to the will of God (John 8:29). A godly father will live as a man under God’s authority and that of God-given earthly institutions, such as employment, church, and government (1 Peter 2:18; Romans 13:1–2; Hebrews 13:17).
- A godly father will lead. The world is in desperate need of men who will lead wisely. Leadership is not domination or control. A leader is one who goes first. He sets the pace for the family by practicing what he preaches. He is on the lookout for dangers and takes initiative to protect his family from them. He meets first with God so that, when he presents a plan to his family, they have confidence that he is following the direction of the Holy Spirit. He leads them to a healthy, Bible-teaching church. He leads them in personal devotions. He leads them away from worldliness. He leads his wife as her confidant and champion. He leads his children to come to know Christ. He leads in his community through charitable service and wise counsel. He leads at church by serving according to his gifts. And he leads other men to follow his example. He is a man that his children can be proud of (Proverbs 17:6).
- Regardless of a man’s past or his own parentage, he has the potential to be a godly father. The qualifications for an elder or deacon found in 1 Timothy 3:1–12 are a good standard for all of us. A father who adheres to those guidelines will do well. If he seeks the Lord with all his heart (Proverbs 3:5–6), strives to keep his priorities straight, and lets love and humility define him, any Christian father can become a man that his children are honored to call “Dad.”
THE SIGNIFICANT IMPACT THAT A FATHER HAS ON OUR HEALTH
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