Keep Me Faithful
a Living Testimony by a Iron Brew that wants too remain Unknown
Person Male: Pseudonym: Manlief
Person Female: Pseudonym: Vroulief
Person Son: Pseudonym Boeta
Manlief born March 20, 1966
Voulief born April 23, 1966
Boeta born May 31, 1994
Marriage confirmation
On April 4, 1987, Vroulief 20 and Manlief 21 were married. Among other things, it was stated in the marriage formal that the marriage is indissoluble. Of the marriage bond, the Lord Jesus says: ‘What God has joined together, let no man separate.’ He teaches us that it is God’s will that marriage may only be dissolved by death.
In the trials and tribulations that occur on earth and also in marriage, God also wants to give his blessing and help. You must be sure in your hearts of God’s help and live in the confidence that He wants to provide you with His assistance, even when you do not expect it at all.
Share in each other’s circumstances, be humble and gentle, kind and tolerant towards each other. Be patient with each other and forgive each other if one has something against the other. As the Lord has forgiven you, you must also forgive each other. Above all, love one another. This is the bond that binds you together in perfect unity. Let the peace that Christ gives be the decisive factor in your lives. After all, God called you to live in peace with one another. Always be grateful. The message of Christ must remain in you in its full richness. Whatever you say or do, say and do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Husband did not mention that day….except if Wife gets depressed he may divorce her. Only death may separate us from each other.
There were several challenges during the 39 years of marriage. Most of the years were happy years where family and friends went on holidays together and enjoyed good times together. The last 9 years were very difficult, however, due to Vroulief being diagnosed with depression. The impact of depression on Voulief herself, her friends and family will be discussed in more detail later.
We were converted in 1990 in Potchefstroom during a service at the Evangelical Reformed Church. There, in 1994 (7 years married), the pastor and elders laid hands on us so that Vroulief could become pregnant. The disciples’ command in Mark 16:18 gives Jesus the command that believers will lay hands on the sick and that they will recover. Praise the Lord Boeta was born on May 31, 1994. A gift from our Heavenly Father. Boeta is a true child of the Lord who serves the Lord fully every day.
Vroulief’s profession and tertiary qualifications
Vroulief is a beautiful caring person who has a passion for working with mentally disabled people. She works as a nurse at Witrand Psychiatric Hospital and is also involved in a Mental Health Institution for fundraising while she studies after hours at Potchefstroom University for her Bachelor of Arts (BA) degree with Psychology as her major.
A Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Psychology is a three-year undergraduate degree that serves as the fundamental first step to practicing as a psychologist in South Africa. This qualification focuses on human behavior, emotions and mental health. However, it does not make you a Psychologist just because you obtain the degree.
Vroulief obtained the degree with distinction. She is further studying for her Honours in Psychology which deepens your knowledge in a specific subject area.
During her honours, she becomes pregnant with Boeta and so he is also there at Vroulief’s Honours graduation ceremony.
The tertiary qualifications are mentioned to show that if you have studied Psychology you are not exempt from depression.
Depression diagnosed in Vroulief
Vroulief loves Boeta incredibly, to such an extent that she has an obsession with him. She is worried about his safety, development and future. She gives up her profession and devotes all her attention to Boeta’s development. Something that we are very grateful for but at the expense of herself.
The Covid pandemic has had a major financial impact on Boeta’s business. This has led to Vroulief’s depression to a large extent. The strong woman she was before the depression cared for her mother and stepfather until their deaths and did not mourn their deaths as one would expect. When emotions are suppressed, ignored or postponed after a great loss, they do not disappear. They simply go “underground” and often manifest later as delayed grief or clinical depression.
Symptoms of depression
Persistent sadness: A feeling of emptiness, despondency or constant absence. Vroulief will lie on the bed most of the time and stare at the ceiling.
Loss of enjoyment: No interest in hobbies, work, going out, or even buying clothes is overwhelming.
Hopelessness: The feeling that things will never get better. Personal hygiene and self-care are difficult. Wife will ask why I should shower, brush my teeth, or put on clean clothes? I won’t go anywhere because of shame and guilt for neglecting herself so much.
Guilt: Intense feelings of self-blame for not taking care of the business.s decision. This had a negative financial impact on the household.
Concentration problems: Struggling to remember, make decisions or focus on tasks. Vroulief will mention that she does not know how to wash dishes, housework such as sweeping is a challenge (where should I sweep it…or push the broom against the wall) washing dishes and putting them away makes her anxious. Sometimes the dirty dishes are just put away.
Thoughts of death: Repeated thoughts of suicide or that life is meaningless. This caused Vroulief to be admitted 5 times for psychiatric help.
Constant ups and downs: Vroulief will sometimes start aimlessly getting up and down in the early morning hours and talking to herself. When she is anxious, the walk is harder and faster. Could this be the beginning of Dimensia, Manlief asks himself.
Impact on family and friends
However, the above-mentioned illness did not only have an impact on Vroulief herself but on Manlief, Boeta, family members and friends as well. Many self-mood messages caused deep wounds and intense emotional damage. This led to conflict and the breakdown of relationships of family members and friends. Vroulief’s longing and love for family who no longer have contact with her only makes the depression illness worse.
Vroulief’s depression has a direct impact on Manlief’s emotional and mental well-being. Manlief retired 3 years ago with the thought that it would be the best time after 40 years of hard work. Little did he know that it would have a 24-hour direct impact on his emotional and mental life. Role reversal took place. Husband has to take over all the household chores (cooking, washing dishes, cleaning the house, doing laundry, chores outside the house must also be done (now Husband is starting to show signs of depression…..self-pity) he feels his own freedom and time as a pensioner is reduced.
There is chronic tension in the house daily as a result of the above symptoms. A born again, spirit-filled man of God cannot get angry with his wife. Long-suffering or patience with Wife has long been gone. There is no longer peace and joy in the house. Galatians 5: 22-23 The fruit of the Spirit, on the other hand, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control.
Husband withdraws himself because there is no longer open communication and mutual support in the marriage, he puts up a front and suppresses his feelings and frustrations when people ask him how he is doing. Husband struggles with questions like….how long should The season is still going on Lord, I have fallen again she he when he got angry, I must stay positive and not give up he says to himself.
Biblical solution for how a family should deal with depression
Living with someone who is struggling with depression requires a lot of patience and strength, and God’s word offers great comfort for you as a family.
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This reminds you that God is also there for your loved one in their darkest hours.
Isaiah 41:10 – “Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.” God promises strength not only for your loved one, but also for you to carry the burden.
Galatians 6:2 – “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” This gives meaning to your daily support and love in the home.
Matthew 11:28 – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” When you become emotionally weary, you may bring your own weariness to Him.
Psalm 42:5 – “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and are you dismayed within me? Hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my salvation and my God.” An honest acknowledgment of hardship, but with the prospect of new hope.
Psalm 121:1-3 Where will my help come from
I lift up my eyes to the mountains, from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not let you stumble; he who keeps you will never slumber.
James 1:2-8 Faith and Wisdom
[2] My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,
[3] for you know that the testing of your faith able to endure.
[4] And let endurance have its full force, that you may be mature, lacking nothing.
[5] If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, and it will be given him, for God gives to all liberally and without reproach.
[6] But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering, for he who wavers is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
[7-8] For let not that man, who wavers and wavers in all his ways, suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.
Romans 8:18, 26 The Glory to Come
[18] I am convinced that the sufferings we are now enduring are, not to be compared with the glory that God will bring us in the future.
[26] The Spirit also helps us in our weakness: we do not know what or how to pray as we should, but the Spirit itself intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be uttered in words.
Closing remarks song
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus, keep me faithful, because there is a battle that I must fight to gain victory. Give me strength every day.
Keep Me Faithful – Through the Darkest Night written by Pastor Dirk for this Iron Brew and His Family – recorded By TruLight Studios Ai
(Verse 1)
The road is long, the shadows start to fall
The weight of the world is pressing on the wall
But I will not falter, I will not stand alone
I place my trust in the power of Your throne
I look to the hills where my help comes from
Through every trial until the battle is won
(Chorus)
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus, keep me faithful
Because there is a battle that I must fight
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus, keep me faithful
Hold my hand through the darkest night
Give me strength every day to walk in Your light
To gain victory by Your grace and Your might
(Verse 2)
When my heart grows weary and my spirit is crushed
I hear Your voice in the quiet and the hush
You promise to strengthen, You promise to uphold
A love more precious than silver or gold
We bear every burden together as one
Walking by faith till the race is done
(Chorus)
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus, keep me faithful
Because there is a battle that I must fight
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus, keep me faithful
Hold my hand through the darkest night
Give me strength every day to walk in Your light
To gain victory by Your grace and Your might
(Bridge)
You are close to the brokenhearted, standing by my side
In Your perfect wisdom, I will safely abide
I lift up my eyes to the heaven above
Anchored forever in Your unchanging love
(Outro)
Give me strength every day
Lord, show me the way
To gain the victory
Keep me faithful, Lord Jesus
Keep me faithful
